This week we continued to edit our stories in Greg’s class using the techniques that he has taught us in the past. In Alma and Leasa’s classes we began to edit our images so that they would go well with our chosen themes and colour schemes.
In Greg’s class I decided that I wasn’t happy with my original writing of my first story, but I liked the story line that I had come up with.
My Original Story:
In 1846 a customs officer caught a smuggler along the Oyster Bay Cliffside in the Reculver area. The encounter involved a mighty sword fight between the pair and resulted in the death of the customs officer when the smuggler shoved him over the edge of the cliff, leaving the officer to fall over 30 metres to his rocky and painful death.
It is said that if you visit Oyster Bay Cliffside after midnight on the night of a full moon, the customs officer’s ghost can be found haunting the area, continuing his job from the dead. Sightings of a ghostly sword fight between the two men have been building up since the mid-1900s and these accounts have varied from people seeing the alleged spirits, to others being chased by them.
After deciding that I wanted to change the majority of this story, I rewrote it, and then edited it, focusing on my word choice, and writing techniques, using the methods that Greg gave us.
My Second Version:
It is told that along this Cliffside a mighty sword fight took place in 1846, resulting in the death of a local customs officer. The Oyster Bay Trail Cliffside is now a popular foot and bike path for tourists and residents to explore along. But what many do not know is that once midnight comes around, the ghost of the customs officer haunts the area, pacing the Cliffside for three hours.
The rumored incident began with a smuggler who was moving through Reculver late at night, when he was caught by a customs officer, who went by the name Thomas Mackie. Officer Mackie, 47 years of age, tried to stop the smuggler, whose name remains unknown, but he became defensive and initiated a fight between the two of them. Although Mackie did everything he could, the smuggler was much younger than him and the fight resulted in him being shoved over the edge of the cliff, and sent him tumbling 30 meters to his rocky and painful death.
Rumors say that if you visit the Oyster Bay Cliffside around midnight, Thomas Mackie’s ghost can be found haunting the trail, continuing his job from the dead. Sightings of a man in uniform pacing along the Cliffside have been raking in since the mid 1900s, and some accounts have reportedly witnessed a sword fight between two men who never seemed to notice there was ever anyone else around. Others say that all they can hear are the different sounds from the battle as they walk along the trail at nighttime.
However, historians have concluded that although some of the allegations received may be slightly far-fetched, it can be confirmed that a sword fight in the 1800s most definitely did take place on this very cliff.
After finishing the writing and editing of this version of my story, I was satisfied with the length, and the quality of my writing. I was glad that I had reached my aim of trying to make my writing seem somewhat informative and historic whilst also being fictional still.
In Alma’s and Leasa’s classes I edited a photo that I took myself in Reculver, and I edited a creepy ghost into it to make it look spooky to go with my murder story. This is the final image: