This week we focused on the finishing touches of our stories so that they would be ready to insert into our booklets when we come back from half term. 

Greg told us to go through our stories, looking at one thing at a time to ensure that they will make sense to the reader. Start by looking at your word choice, then read through your work again, and this time around look at a different technique.

This advice really helped me because it gave me an understanding of how to edit my work properly, especially considering that up until this week I hadn’t edited much, as I have been focusing on writing them. It allowed me to edit my work in a way that made sure everything was as it should be and no mistakes were missed.

It took a lot of patience and practice to get used to editing my work in this way because I’m so used to just reading through and correcting mistakes of all kind, and editing little parts that I think need changing as I read it, therefore it took some getting used to, but I found it very helpful in the long run.

Original second story:

Along this small pathway, in 1963, a young girl named Olivia Benson slipped on the wet walkway and fell to her death. Olivia Benson was only 14 years of age when she died, and she was very well known throughout the community of Reculver, having lived in the area all her life. This meant that she knew this specific Kentish area very well and her death was very sudden and shocking to friends and family.

The death of Olivia Benson was originally investigated because many believed that her place of death was very suspicious considering how many years she had spent in the Reculver area. The police investigation showed nothing suspicious but many have reportedly seen the ghost of the young girl along the pathway in the evenings which has led to multiple rumours that Olivia was in fact murdered. Although these rumours and accusations are understandable, there was never any evidence for them and therefore nobody really took notice of them.

 

I was actually rather satisfied with this story-line and the way that I had written it at first, but then once I began editing my other stories, I found that actually there were quite a few changes that I wanted to make to this piece. Instead of editing this story in the same document I decided to rewrite the whole thing in a slightly different way. That version is below:

Second version:

In the early 1900s, a young girl, Olivia Benson, committed suicide along the slippery path that runs down the side of the hill that the Reculver Towers stand on.

Olivia Benson, who had lived in the Reculver area for the entirety of her life, was only fourteen years of age when her body was found cold and pale on the cobbled stone floor that lies at the feet of the Roman Fort hill. Family and friends insisted that the incident must have been staged to look as though the young girl had killed herself, as they knew that Olivia was a happy teenager, and knew her way around the area very well.

Many mourned the loss of this vibrant and caring youngster, but kept it personal. For unknown reasons, the community of Reculver never showed any signs of caring for the late child, and the residents rarely spoke of the incident. To this day, very few know about the whole situation.

An investigation was carried out on the murder of Olivia Benson over twenty years, and although her family never accepted the fate they were handed, there was never any evidence to prove the murder of dear Olivia Benson.

After finishing writing the second version of this story I was satisfied with the result as I felt as though I had gone into more detail, yet managed to keep the story short and straight forward.

I also created a schedule this week which really helped me to structure the work that I was doing. At the beginning of the project I didn’t have a schedule at all, and I didn’t have a plan on what I was going to do when, so having a planned list to follow throughout the remainder of the project will help me to make sure I get everything finished in time.

Advertisements